dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
