I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
