in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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