They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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