woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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