Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
