hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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