I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
