JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
