I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
