the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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