You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
