What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
