NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am naked and annoyed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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