I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize