once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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