And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
