This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
