Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
