My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
