he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
