the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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