remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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