Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
