you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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