Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
