Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
