love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
