this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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