im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have fence marks all over my body
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
