you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
