maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
