THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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