; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
