Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Congratulations! We have a period
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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