She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
