Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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