I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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