i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
