Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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