You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
