We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
