thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
