saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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