I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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