Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
