He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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