so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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