You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
