im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
