Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
