Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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