i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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