if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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