with your own penis?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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