My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
