it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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