I cockslap morals
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
