weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
