Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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