The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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