belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
