So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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