Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
