they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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