if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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