i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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