No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
