I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
