It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Boobs speak an international language.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
