I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
